


Funeral

by Kiseki_Kurusu



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiseki_Kurusu/pseuds/Kiseki_Kurusu
Summary: So, I wondered about Natsuki's funeral in Doki Doki Exit Music. I was like: 'What if the Protagonist did attend Natsuki's funeral?' So this is what the fanfic is about. There is a little bit of Monika x Protagonist in the end. This is in Hikaru/Protagonist/MC's POV.





	Funeral

**Author's Note:**

> I SUGGEST YOU PLAY THE ORIGINAL DDLC AND THEN DDLC EXIT MUSIC! This has spoilers of the mod! Do not read if you have not played the mod!

...It has been days since I found Natsuki dead. She committed suicide by hanging herself. I couldn't save her. I was supposed to be her hero. I was suppose to save her like a knight in shining armor. But she's gone. Gone forever. Away from my arms. The moment I found her dead, my heart shattered. It felt like the entire world ended around me. I loved her so much. So much. I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. But that can never happen. I looked at my desk to see the paper she wrote for me before she died. I picked it up.

_Hero_

I felt tears burning my eyes. I let myself cry. I fell on my knees while holding the paper close to my chest. "N-N-N...Natsuki...!" I said while crying. I couldn't handle the grief anymore. But I just want to fight it a little bit more before the sadness can consume me like a monster. It feels right surprisingly. I deserved it. I deserve the pain. It's my fault that I have failed to save the love of my life. I remember what happened before she died. Yuri attempted to seduce me, but I fought back by threatening her. Then, Natsuki and Yuri fought in the club. Natsuki ran out and I ran after her, only to discover she tried to kill herself by cutting. After I took her to the hospital, I didn't knew that would be my fatal mistake. When I woke up, I found out her father has taken her home. When I tried to save, I felt fear of her dad. When I opened the door, she was dead already. For that she hanged herself. I knew at that moment, it was all over. It was all my fault. Suddenly, my phone went off as I received a text message. I didn't look at it for 20 seconds before I decided to stop crying and walk to my phone to see who texted me. It was Monika. Why did she text me? I decided to read the message. I feel so numb and so horrible. 

_'Hey, the funeral is today. Do you want to come along with me and the girls?'_

I couldn't respond to this. I began to slowly sob again. I decided to text her back.

_'Yes, just give me a minute.'_

After I sent her that text, I walked to my closet and opened the doors of it. I haven't told my parents about it. I picked out a white collared shirt, black pants, black shoes, and a black coat. After I put them on, I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still red from the crying. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I look in my horrible reflection. I miss Natsuki. She was my entire world. I shut my eyes as I remember the happy memories I had alongside her. The day we first met, when we shared poems, when she said she liked my poems, baking cupcakes together, the day I saved her from dying, when we slept together after i saved her, the day we hugged in the snow, when we had that snowball fight, when we made out. All of it. I decided to head out.

I wanted to see her. One last time.

I opened the door to see Monika, Yuri, and Sayori. The girls were waiting for me. "Are you ready to go...?" Monika asked to me. Her tone was filled with so much sadness. Sayori looked like she was about to cry at one point. "I'm so sorry, Hikaru..." Sayori said. I slowly nodded at her, to tell that it wasn't her fault and that it was all my fault. Yuri looked like she doesn't feel anything at all. I just simply nodded. "Let's just get this over with..." I said to them. They nodded and we headed to the graveyard. I swallowed at the sight of this as I almost gasped. "N...Natsuki..." I said. The casket she was in was white colored. Natsuki looked so peaceful. She didn't deserve to die. If only I saved her life. If I have saved her life, none of this would have happened! NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE EVERY FREAKING HAPPENED!

Monika held my hand slowly, trying her best to comfort me. I looked at her and she nodded at me. I nodded back slowly in response. We sat in the chairs.

As the funeral service went on, I couldn't think anymore. It was raining, but I didn't give a care. Sayori squeezed my left hand gently, trying her best to comfort me like Monika was. I just allowed it. I don't care at this point. As long as the grief stays within me, I could care less. I didn't want to hear anything anymore. What's the point in doing anything when the love of your life is gone? I feel like I'm losing myself slowly and slowly. It feels like a knife is stabbing me repeatedly in the chest. It feels like my heart has been sliced by a sword. It hurts. It hurts so much. I can't bear it any further. But I knew I have to. Natsuki would have wanted me to. Right?

When the time came to lower her casket in the ground so that she can be buried, my eyes widened. I felt tears coming in my eyes. These tears were strong though. As they lowered the casket, I got out of my chair and fell on my knees. At this moment, I just lost it. I let my sadness consume me. " _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"_ I screamed at the top of my lungs. Everybody looked at me. I didn't care if I embarrassed myself. Sayori, Yuri, and Monika looked at me. Their faces were filled with sadness and concern. My scream melted into loud sobbing. I just want her back! I just want Natsuki back! I let myself cry. I let the girls of the Literature Club comfort me. 

Tears fell down my face. I was crying so loudly. Other people showed concern for me. I wrapped my arms around myself as I cried. 

Yuri attempted to comfort me, but I gently pushed her away. I didn't want her sympathy. 

After the funeral, I looked at the girls. I made a sad small smile through a pained expression on my face before running away from them. "Hikaru!" The girls called out to me. I didn't bother looking at them. I just kept running to my house as tears fell down my face. Once I got inside my house, I closed the door. I ran upstairs to my room. Once I got in my room, I closed the door, removed my coat, and let myself fall on the bed. I covered my face with one of the pillows of my bed and began sobbing uncontrollably in it. Just why? Why did this had to happen? What did I do to deserve this pain? I can't bear this sadness anymore. I continued to sob uncontrollably. After a hour, I didn't hear the sound of my font door opening. I didn't even bother to lock it. I didn't even bother to listen to the footsteps that was coming up the stairs. Someone opened the door. I didn't even bother to look at who opened my room door. Suddenly, I felt a hand ruffle my hair. I turned to see who it was. It was Monika.

Monika looked like she was on a verge of tears also. Her eyes were glassy as tears began to fill her eyes. Her emerald green eyes were filled with so much sadness just like my yellow eyes was. She began crying. I started sobbing uncontrollably again and we hugged each other. We cried together as our sobs echoed off the walls of my room.

Just why did this have to happen?


End file.
